Surviving, thriving and being a better dad
I was very fortunate in that my parents and my brothers and sisters and I had a great family upbringing. There wasn’t much money but we had lots of fun. We spent lots of fun time together. We camped, hunted, fished, played board games, had cooking and reading weekends and worked together in the vegetable garden. One thing that impressed me was the way my parents related to each other with warmth and affection.
My parents were a great model for me and I want to be a better dad. With the new baby coming soon and two other children we will be busy. I want to be a great dad. Spending lots of happy time with my family and communicating well should be a good start. My work seems to make so much demand on my time that I have little left over for my wife and family.
When our newborn comes home from hospital, I know that I will be a great support for my wife. I’ve done this two times already but I feel I could be a much better dad and husband if I had some coaching or strategies. It’s easy to be a better Dad when you know how!
We see pictures of great dads everywhere. The magazines show us how wonderful the celebrity fathers are. It leaves me wondering how they managed to do it. I presume, if they are really good dads, they have asked others, read books, and worked hard to show their family that they love them.
It’s the little things that often count. Bringing flowers home for your wife, arranging a babysitter for an unexpected outing, cooking dinner, bathing the kids, supervising homework, suggesting take outs. It’s the surprise element that makes your gestures thoughtful. Think of ways you can help and support the running of your home and the nurturing of your family.
There are many simple things you can do to show that you love being with your children. Make a special time to do things with them, for example, spending time at the local playground. Try to do things that help their mother as well for example taken out early Sunday morning for a walk while their mother has a sleep in. You and the kids get her breakfast in bed.
Even if they aren’t very effective, most fathers try very hard to be good dads. If you are going to change, make sure it is a long-term change rather than just a week when you turn into this new fantastic father. You have to maintain being a super dad. Your kids will be very unhappy if you turn on good fatherhood for a few days and then become the old grouch that you used to be.
Like anything else, if you want to improve you have to plan and set goals. Why not try some lateral thinking like Edward de Bono? Corrupt three Collins and had them there’s Positive, Negative, and Interesting. As you start to investigate being a better father, note down the things that seem to be effective, ineffective, or need to be considered later. Make up a working list of good activities and put into place.
Work through your planned list carefully and don’t try to do everything at once. When you do try a new strategy, find out if the family appreciates what you have done. You’ll be pleasantly surprised when you notice how much more positive they are about you. More importantly, you’ll know that you’re doing your job well and that you’re working hard to be a better dad.